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Sunday, July 18 2010 - 05:28 AM
Mayor Parris is Coming OUT!
I was truly blown away by the Daily News’ article on our “flamboyant” Mayor Rex Parris. The article comes right on the heels of Matt Keltner praising Parris for coming down on the right side of the issues. How could the two NOT be connected? Obviously Matt, with his connections, probably knows something about the Mayor that has yet to, you know…come out. What type of secrets have been closeted away over there in City Hall? Enquiring minds want to know!!
This “coming out” will no doubt dismay many in the Lancaster Baptist set. His initiative to have show tunes playing on all City streets as cars drive over them is a big hit in a certain segment of the community, as is his dedication to restoring the Judy Garland house on Lancaster Boulevard. The theater people on the Boulevard are absolutely ecstatic. “We’re hoping to bring ‘Rent’ to the Lancaster Performing Arts Center,” gushed Karel Francis and his boy friend Maurie Woods. “This turn in Mr. Parris is absolutely music to my ears!,” he continued. “You take one look at those cowboy boots, and….I think you get my drift,” Woods added.
In light of Mayor Parris new (show) tune at City Hall, the Back Door bar on Avenue I may consider moving to downtown Lancaster to take advantage of the new “ambience” and “openness,” spurred by Mr. Parris’ flamboyance.
When asked for comment, Councilwoman Sherry Marquez had a seizure and had to receive medical care. Her physicians assure us that she will have a Scripture ready tomorrow.
Does Rex Parris’ new mania to redecorate downtown Lancaster, bring in the theater types, and play show tunes on City streets mean that he’s suddenly an advocate for alternate life styles? Time will tell. Until then, ta-ta.
RealSteve says...
What’s the big deal here?
Anyone remember J Edgar Hoover and his love for a nice frock or two?
TRex, the bearded lady?
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138hwy says...
Scully Very funny! Note that realfatracist steve was the first to comment and fat boy “coming out also?”
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RealSteve says...
BillyWifeBuyer
How goes the welfare cheating biz over in the trailer park? Is Obama doing good things for those of you who are stuck on the government welfare tit?
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138hwy says...
realfatracist…we owe the IRS $2,000.
How does that square up with government benifits?n Oh, I know!!!!!1 Because we need to pay more to support slugs like you and all of the mexicans and lancaster, aka DBW.
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lancaster says...
so hwy, not paying ur taxes now? why em i not surprised?
What a love fest on the front page of the avpress this mourning.
rex in love with himself!
avpress in love with rex’s advertising money!
no need for viagra here!
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Randy Hall says...
Every payday my most expensive employee that does nothing but sub-standard retirement and crappy educational benefits, and rotten medical care takes $3,500.
I could put more people to work pay my people that work for me more, and have more money to spend in our local economy. But no, I’ve got to pay for crappy charity for people I don’t even know.
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Sincere says...
Flamboyant doesn’t mean gay you moron. Scully is as retarded as Town Crier.
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Sincere says...
Does the Associated Press sell advertising?
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Scully says...
Are you covering for the Mayor Sincere? Are you the “Roy Cohn” to his “J. Edgar Hoover?” Come on, there’s nothing to be ashamed of!
BTW, love those cowboy boots!
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Cagy Wolf says...
Rex is a scumbag why go into details about him? You had the chance to vote him out or run against him.Rex isn’t a faggot just another lying politician who can’t keep his campaign promises, like doing something about the illegal aliens infecting our nation, state and cities.Someone will be eventually killed at Home Depot and only then will enforcement of the law happen. Every state in the union needs to pass laws like arizona.
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lancaster says...
looks like the city is getting hit with another lawsuit.
this one also concerning the ceder center, and the city allowing children to be placed in a toxic environment.
claim filed july 15th.
this was supposed to have been cleaned up in “94”, by gilley. funds had been allocated, but never used! hhhmmmmm
funny how our local newspapers never seem to be on top of whats going on.
no word about it from the avpress or newstoday. just fluff pieces about baked potatoes and rex’s humility! lol
rex, why do u hate children?
rex will probably just use this as an excuse to bulldoze our history, and give us a parking garage. what a creep.
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Harding Republican says...
I heard that there were a lot of back door…I mean back room deals going at the City of Lancaster.
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Harding Republican says...
Maybe if Rex keeps this up, he’ll be as famous as Johnny Cochran.
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138hwy says...
lanc., aka DBW..
Do not worry!! I shall pay the IRS in order for the “handouts” to continue.
For surely I would feel badly if the ENTITLEMENTS stopped and folks could not use their ETB cards at liquor stores for “food” such as cokes, candy, chips and cookies. (to get em even fatter.) lol hahahahaha
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roxi says...
Love the song, oc8ntv – perfect!
Looks like the Mayors’ been going to too many church dinners…or needs to buy a larger jacket…looking a little paunchy there?! ha.
The cowboys boots are cool tho — makes one ‘look’ taller?! PR says: Get rid of the wheel burrow belly and double chin hiding behind the beard…
The ‘praying hands’ on the front cover of VPress was a nice touch – bought and sold is the message.
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lancaster says...
hwy i’m sure u don’t need to pay the irs to keep asking for handouts.
u sound sssoooo jealous when u bitch about ebt cards. why’d they turn ya down?
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lancaster says...
im not convinced that rex’s is anything more then ron smith’s beard! really, read the guys profile.
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Scully says...
Actually, it’s Roy Cohn to McCarthy.
Also, Sincere, how did you figure that I was saying that Rex was gay? I never said that. I was just talking about his newly flamboyant lifestyle. How you got gay out of that, I’ll never know.
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A V Observer says...
roxi have you looked in the mirror lately? You look like 6 feet doesn’t look so far down. Don’t worry about how the mayor looks.
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intheknow says...
JUST REMEMBER WE ALL HAVE SKELETONS IN OUR CLOSETS… DONT WE ???
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ocn8tv says...
The Producers
with a cast of 1,000 from Lancaster!
“Springtime for Hitler”
CHORUS:
Germany was having trouble
What a sad, sad story
Needed a new leader to restore
Its former glory
Where, oh, where was he?
Where could that man be?
We looked around and then we found
The man for you and me
LEAD TENOR STORMTROOPER:
And now it’s…
Springtime for Hitler and Germany
Deutschland is happy and gay!
We’re marching to a faster pace
Look out, here comes the master race!
Springtime for Hitler and Germany
Rhineland’s a fine land once more!
Springtime for Hitler and Germany
Watch out, Europe
We’re going on tour!
Springtime for Hitler and Germany…
CHORUS:
Look, it’s springtime
LEAD TENOR STORMTROOPER:
Winter for Poland and France
CHORUS AND STORMTROOPER:
Springtime for Hitler and Germany!
CHORUS:
Springtime! Springtime!
Springtime! Springtime!
Springtime! Springtime!
Springtime! Springtime!
STORMTROOPER:
Come on, Germans
Go into your dance!
STORMTROOPER “ROLF”:
I was born in Dusseldorf und that is why they call me Rolf.
STORMTROOPER “MEL”:
Don’t be stupid, be a smarty, come and join the Nazi party!
ULLA:
The Fuhrer is coming, the Fuhrer is coming, the Fuhrer is coming!
STORMTROOPER #1:
Heil Hitler!
STORMTROOPER #2:
Heil Hitler!
LEAD TENOR STORMTROOPER:
Heil Hitler!
Springtime for Hitler and Germany
ALL:
Heil Hitler!
ROGER:
Heil myself
Heil to me
I’m the kraut
Who’s out to change our history
Heil myself
Raise your hand
There’s no greater
Dictator in the land!
Everything I do, I do for you!
CHORUS:
Yes, you do!
ROGER:
If you’re looking for a war, here’s World War Two!
Heil myself
Raise your beer
CHORUS:
Jawohl!
ROGER:
Ev’ry hotsy-totsy Nazi stand and cheer
CHORUS:
Hooray!
Ev’ry hotsy-totsy Nazi…
ROGER:
Heil myself!
CHORUS:
Ev’ry hotsy-totsy Nazi…
ROGER:
Heil myself!
CHORUS:
Ev’ry hotsy-totsy Nazi…
ROGER:
…stand and cheer!
THE HEIL-LOs:
The Fuhrer is causing a furor!
He’s got those Russians on the run
You gotta love that wacky hun!
The Fuhrer is causing a furor
They can’t say “no” to his demands
They’re freaking out in foreign lands
He’s got the whole world in his hands
The Fuhrer is causing a furor!
ROGER:
I was just a paper hanger
No one more obscurer
Got a phone call from the Reichstag
Told me I was Fuhrer
Germany was blue
What, oh, what to do?
Hitched up my pants
And conquered France
Now Deutschland’s smiling through!
But it wasn’t always so easy…
It was 1932. Hindenburg was working the Big Room and I…
I was playing the lounge. And then I got my big break.
Somebody burned down the Reichstag. And, would you believe it?
They made me Chancellor. Chancellor!
It ain’t no myst’ry
If it’s politics or hist’ry
The thing you gotta know is
Ev’rything is show biz
Heil myself
Watch my show
I’m the German Ethel Merman
Dontcha know
We are crossing borders
The new world order is here
Make a great big smile
Ev’ryone sieg heil to me
Wonderful me!
And now it’s…
CHORUS:
Springtime for Hitler and Germany
Goose-step’s the new step today
ROGER:
Springtime!
Goose-steps!
CHORUS MEN:
Bombs falling from the skies again
CHORUS:
Deutschland is on the rise again
ROGER & CHORUS:
Springtime for Hitler and Germany
U-boats are sailing once more
Springtime for Hitler and Germany
ROGER:
Means that…
CHORUS:
Soon we’ll be going…
ROGER:
We’ve got to be going…
CHORUS:
You know we’ll be going….
ROGER:
You bet we’ll be going…
ROGER & CHORUS:
You know we’ll be going to war!!
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